Ssshhh, careful what you say

Couldn’t resist reprinting this report from CityNews Toronto.

Apparently, the Canadian Air Transport Security Authority has issued a “clarification” to airport screening officers because they were taking their job way too seriously and, it appears, arresting passengers who were simply being a little mouthy.

The CATSA has now provided two sample lists of potential statements by passengers to security personnel. The first is a list of those statements that are considered “illegal” and for which you may be arrested, charged, and face jail time. The second is a newer list of statements for which you will be given only a warning.

Some of them are interesting.

Illegal comments:

The person over there is carrying a bomb.

I have a bomb in my bag.

There’s a bomb in the washroom.

The bag I checked in upstairs contains an IED (improvised explosive device).

I am going to set fire to this airplane with this blowtorch.

I’ve got plastic explosives that can blow up this airport.

I’m going to blow up this airplane over the Atlantic.

You better look through my suitcase carefully, because there’s a bomb in there.

Screener: What’s in that bottle? Passenger: Liquid explosives.

The man in seat 32F has a machine gun.

Comments prompting warnings only:

Do you think I have a bomb in my suitcase?

There’s no bomb in my shoe.

What do you think I look like, a terrorist?

Hi Jack!

My gun misfired when I was hunting this weekend.

This security does nothing to stop hijacking.

Your hockey team is going to get bombed tonight!

You don’t need to frisk me, I’m not carrying a weapon.

I wonder into which category I would fall if I yelled, “Stand back! I have a pit bull!”

Screener: “Sir, is that a pit bull in your carry-on? Could you step over here please? SIR, PLEASE STEP AWAY FROM THE PIT BULL, NOW!”

3 thoughts on “Ssshhh, careful what you say

  1. Now, does that qualify as an illegal statement or not? After all, according to the Fibs, a pit bull is a “ticking time bomb”….

  2. So, it’s illegal to alert them to possible dangers, such as a bomb in the washroom or a passenger with a weapon?

    How odd.

    And yes, you’d better watch that ‘pit bull’ talk or they’ll clap you in irons for sure.

  3. Hey Dalton and/or Jeff Leal(Liberal MPP),
    Would you care to join my new group called “Hey Ontario Liberals,Listen Up!”?
    Luv Mac(An Ontario “Pitbull”)

    Add that one to the above list(s) please.
    Don`t ask it while in line,waiting to board.
    You may never be heard from again!

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